I found Dad at the kitchen table with the photograph again.
He kept it in the bottom drawer beside old batteries, takeout menus, and pens that barely worked.
It showed a beach in Hawaii.
The colors had faded until the ocean looked gray. Palm trees leaned into one corner, while several tiny figures stood near a cooler on the left side.
Dad slowly turned the picture over in his hands.
“What’s it like there?” I asked.
He looked up.
“The rain is warm. You can smell the ocean before you see it.”
Mom stood at the counter buttering toast.
Her knife froze halfway across the bread.
Dad noticed.
“So,” he said, setting the photograph down, “how’s work?”
That was Hawaii in our family.
One moment it existed.
The next, someone changed the subject.
Dad had been born there and left at twenty. He moved to Oregon for work, met Mom, married her, and never returned.
Not once.
I never understood why.
When I was little, he talked openly about missing Hawaii—the rainstorms, fruit from roadside stands, and birds calling before sunrise.
As I got older, though, I started noticing Mom’s reaction whenever he mentioned it.
She’d go quiet.
Sometimes she’d leave the room.
Once, after Dad said he’d like to see the ocean there again, she put her plate in the sink so hard I thought it might crack.
Later, I confronted him.
“Why does Mom get angry every time you talk about Hawaii?”
Dad was folding a dish towel.
“She’s not angry.”
“She definitely is, Dad.”
He gave me a weary look.
“Try to understand your mother, Annie. If you knew the whole story, you wouldn’t be angry with her.”
I wish I’d asked him what he meant.
Two weeks ago, Dad was driving home when another car crossed into his lane.
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