Her voice dropped.
“For about thirty seconds, I wanted them to hurt.”
“What did?”
I didn’t speak.
“Not apologize. Not understand. Hurt.”
“You were angry.”
“And it felt so good to be angry at them.”
A tear slipped down her cheek.
“I looked at what I’d written and thought, if I send this, they get to decide what kind of person I become.”
“You were angry.”
I reached for her hand.
She let me take it.
“So I deleted it.”
“And then you started helping them?”
“It wasn’t a mission. The next time somebody trusted me, I kept it private. Then somebody else needed help.”
“Why you?”
“So I deleted it.”
She looked toward the window.
“Because nobody was mine. And I had no friends, so there wasn’t anyone to tell their secrets to. I think I seemed like a safe choice for them.”
That cut deeper than Rocky’s video.
Every defense rose to my lips.
“Because nobody was mine.”
Instead, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you always do something.”
“I’m your mother, Claire. Looking after you is my entire job.”
She gave me a tired look.
“Sometimes I needed you to hear me before you decided what happened next.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I looked at my notebook.
I closed it.
“I’m listening.”
***
Several days later, Dr. Matthews finally brought better news. Claire was responding to treatment, and if the improvement continued, she could recover at home.
“I’m listening.”
“You’re sure?” I asked.
He nodded.
Claire looked at him.
“Home?”
“If things keep moving this way.”
Claire closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. I took her hand.
“Home?”
“You’re coming home.”
She squeezed my fingers. Dr. Matthews quietly stepped toward the door.
“Thank you,” I said.
***
Before Claire left, Mrs. Evans visited her again. She suggested a school recognition event.
Claire answered before I could.
“You’re coming home.”
“No.”
“Why not, honey?”
“I don’t want to become the sick girl who taught everyone kindness.”
***
Later, Rocky asked if he could apologize publicly.
Claire shook her head.
“If you’re sorry, act different.”
“Why not, honey?”
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