No one spoke.
Then she added:
“I don’t expect forgiveness today.”
I believed her.
Maybe because she didn’t ask for it.
“I appreciate you saying that,” I replied.
After she left, Rowan stood beside Leo’s bassinet for a long time.
“Do you forgive her?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you forgive me?”
I looked at him.
“I don’t know.”
He nodded.
The answer hurt.
But he accepted it.
Something important had changed.
Not healed.
Changed.
For the next several weeks, Rowan remained in the guest room.
Not as punishment.
Because closeness needed to become voluntary again.
We started marriage counseling.
At our first session, the counselor asked why we wanted to save our marriage.
Rowan answered first.
“Because I love my wife.”
The counselor turned to me.
I thought carefully.
“Because I want to find out whether loving someone is enough reason to rebuild trust.”
She smiled.
“That’s an honest place to begin.”
The work looked unremarkable from outside.
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